Feb 18 2009
Wednesday becomes work on me physically day
When the new year began I said I wouldn’t make a New Year’s resolution because I knew it wouldn’t last. Of course I ended up making a few goals for this year because what is a new year if you don’t try to start it off right and give yourself things to work towards and the reward of meeting those goals? So of course as most women do I decided I want to lose weight and I mean really lose weight, not just the “oh yeah I want to lose ten pounds to fit into that bikini for my beach trip” no that’s not me! Wish it was but it’s not!
I need to lose 90 to 100 pounds to get to a healthy size and the size that I will be happy with. After I had my first child I gained over 100 pounds! That was eleven years ago and I still have most of the weight holding on. Of course I have added two more kids to the equation but it just really seems that I can’t get below 200 pounds for anything in this world. I haven’t pushed myself hard enough and that’s the only reason.
I make excuses all the time but reality is I have not pushed myself to exercise on a regular schedule nor have I made myself drink water and eat healthier. It’s my own fault and I’m the only one that can fix this problem.
So what makes this time wanting to lose weight different from the other times? Simple I want it… I truely want it.
As I get older and start getting more involved in my kids activities I feel myself getting embarrassed of myself and for my kids. I don’t want to be the fat mom! When I turned 20 my first thought was “oh my God I’m almost 30!” I have always felt that 30 would be the end of my fun filled life. That’s when I’ll be old! Of course now that I am 28 I realize that 30 is definitely not old! But still in my mind I promised myself and I have made myself believe that if I am not happy with myself at 30 then I have failed myself. I want to go into age 30 looking and feeling the way that I think makes me happy, I want to be headed into the right direction financially, spiritually, relationship wise, and most important is to be the mom I want to be and need to be. I know this seems silly to someone else but this is my reality. These are the thoughts that have been burned into my brain since I turned 20 and so far I’m failing myself… it stops now!
Every Wednesday (hopefully using it more days out of the week) I will be posting exercising tips, routines, goals, anything that is going to help me get myself physically to my happy point.
