A Mom’s Life Made Simple

I recently wrote about how I love to read and had finished the book FIREPROOF. I honestly can’t say it enought that if you haven’t read it you need to get it. After reading finishing FIREPROOF I felt as if I wasn’t complete in my journey to help myself and my relationship. I decided to take it a step further and get the next step up which is THE LOVE DARE book.

If you haven’t read FIREPROOF or seen the movie then you don’t really know what I’m talking about so let me explain the best I can without giving away everything in the book.

FIREPROOF is basically about a couple that are facing divorce and the husband is talking to his father about the troubles they are having and his father basically gets him to give his relationship forty days to go through somewhat of a challenge, this challenge is a book called THE LOVE DARE. In this book there are forty days of love dares in which you have to complete fully in order to get the full meaning of the book. The books purpose is to all yourself to lead your heart instead of following your heart because sometimes the heart will lie or get confused and also to show us that love is more a decision then anything else, meaning when your spouse isn’t doing or saying the right things you choose to love them anyway because it’s more important to have that person in your life them to argue over the little things. Basically it’s learning how to truely love unconditionally and freely. Not only do you learn about your spouse but you learn a lot about yourself and that’s what I’m looking forward to the most.

I will not write about my daily dares on a daily basis because I feel that each person needs to read the book rather than just guess the dares from what I’m going through but I may from time to time write about something that is important to me that I want to remember and to share. I started this book to make myself and my relationship better and even though it is meant for people who are married I have been with my fiance for almost 15 years and I believe we have been through enough together to walk the walk of the married and we have enough sense to know that before marriage comes we both have to be complete in ourselves and in our relationship because once vows are said before God for me I refuse to allow them to not mean anything six weeks later… so I’m starting now

To give you a little look into what I’ve been doing, my first dare was to go the whole day and not say anything negative to my fiance and if I felt that I was going to say something negative then I had to just not say anything at all. (Also he knows I’m reading the book but has no idea as to what is in it so that’s pretty exciting).

This was actually tougher then I thought! On the day of this dare I didn’t sleep very well and it took me thirty minutes to wake him up to go to work. I was so ready to fuss at him and to say things to make him mad enough to wake up and get out the door but I bit my tongue… BOY DID I BITE IT!  Later in the day he called me an hour later then he normally does and tells me that the jeep was hit by the man picking up carts in Walmart’s parking lot and that it was the mans fault because my fiance even blew the horn to stop him. I’m glad it wasn’t his fault but there were so many other things that I was thinking and realized later after biting my tongue that he tried his best to move so the guy wouldn’t hit him, he beeped the horn, he did everything possible to make sure he didn’t get hit so I learned that I would have been fussing for no reason at all when he really tried his best to stop the situation from happening. I began to wonder how many times I jump on his case without hearing the whole story and never hearing it because he’s too upset with me for jumping down his throat about it.  Yeah I’m learning some things and I’m not even close to being done with the book!

picture provided by morguefile

“Dwell not on the past. Use it to illustrate a point, then leave it behind. Nothing really matters except what you do now in this instant of time. From this moment onwards you can be an entirely different person, filled with love and understanding, ready with an outstretched hand, uplifted and positive in every thought and deed.”

                                                                                  -Eileen Caddy

The great thing about quotes is that each quote means something different to every person. It starts with one person making a comment on something that has happened in their life which then adds light to a situation that another person may be going through at that moment. That’s why I love finding quotes online. I love finding something that will help me with what I’m going through at that time, something that will make me take a step back and look at the situation differently.

So much has happened in my past which I have allowed to affect my life now and if I don’t let it go it will continue to affect my future. Problems within my relationship, fear that I hold on to from things that I’ve seen others go through in my past, all of these things follow me on a daily basis and hold me back from moving on with my life.  I tend to bring this situations back up often to make my point when fussing, I think about how they affected me back then and the fear that it may all happen again holds me back from allowing people to know me, get close to me, and even love me fully.

I have been working hard on letting things go. I have realized especially in my relationship that if I worry constantly about the past or that the past may be repeated then I will always be unhappy. I will never have a good life. If I can’t allow the ones I love to fully love me back without being knocked away by this wall I’ve created then I’m only hurting myself.

The past doesn’t matter…. people do change…. and today is all that is important.

I’ve been looking for the perfect workout video that will not only get me in shape but will be enough fun to make me want to keep doing it. I’ve tried the old fashioned aerobic videos, taebo (which I really like but just got bored with it), and several other videos. None of them have held my attention long enough to help me get in shape.

I’ve heard about those striptease aerobic videos and how much fun women were having with them but figured there was no way I was going to even try to get into doing that! I guess I had formed an opinion on it just because it seemed more like you were learning to dance sexy instead of get in shape.

I decided to look for videos on youtube dealing with dancing and exercise and came across a short segment from Carmen Electra’s Aerobic Striptease and decided to watch it. I absolutely loved it! I love the flow that the video has and the way I feel about myself afterwards. I not only feel like I’ve been working out but I feel sexy! I feel like a woman and to me that’s important.

I took the leap and actually spent money on something for myself and bought the whole five video collection off of ebay! I’m so excited!!  My fiance seems to be thrilled for reasons other then me getting into shape… I guess it’s good to know he loves me!

I love searching online and in books for things that can make my life easier. Heck isn’t that what everyone wants?

I tend to be a person that over thinks things, I will drive all around the block instead of just going straight through the side road to get to where I need to go, if that makes sense. So my day seems to be a whole lot brighter when I come across ideas that can make things better or easier for me. Anything that may be of help in one way or the other.

I came across a few things today while doing my daily dose of Cafemom.com that I found pretty interesting and I know will help me in the near future.

Did you know:

• you can add a tsp of water to ground beef while cooking it and it will seperate the grease from the meat?
• Bananas ripen faster if they are left connected at the stem so seperate them to have them last longer.
• Store sour cream upside down in the frig and it will last longer
• sew buttons on using dental floss it will last longer
• Place a slice of bread in a container of home baked cookies to have soft longer lasting cookies

Now how great are these?! I have to admit I didn’t know any of them.

Today was definitely Monday! I don’t usually have a bad vibe about Mondays but I believe since Friday the 13th went well for me it ended up catching up with today.   I woke up thinking about how wonderful today was going to be and was hit with a rude awakening from the beginning.

I worked lastnight until midnight and then headed to bed. I woke up a few times during the night to get the girls drinks or wrap them up and finally began the day at 5:50 am. I got up, fixed my fiance’s lunch and woke him up at 6am… then again at 6:15…. and yet again at 6:30 and finally at 6:40 he was up. Yes I go through this often and it’s become quite the annoying routine. After getting him out the door to work My middle daughter woke up and helped me wake up my son. The bus always comes between 7:20am and 7:30, I know this because we watch “Ben 10″ every morning and before it’s over the bus is on the way. So today Ben 10 had gone off and we had watched half of the other show before the bus came! By this time my youngest daughter had woke up and was sitting in the hallway kicking her feet and yelling about absolutely nothing.   I put everyone back to bed in hopes of restarting the day on a better note…. it didn’t happen.

I have been trying to pay off a college loan over the past year or so and finally made my last payment last week! I signed up for online courses only to find out that I still owe the college I attended. I’m not yet sure why because I’ve paid off the loan completely yet for some reason they say that there is over 200 dollars that I owe from the loan. My thoughts are if it’s part of the loan then shouldn’t it have been paid off with the loan I just paid?! I can’t go to school until it’s paid and I won’t pay it until I figure out why it’s there.

Next on my day to disaster…

I recieved a letter back in January saying that I have been called for jury duty. Well I filled out the form to ask to be excused because I don’t have transportation nor do I have anyone to watch my kids. I was excused but ended up getting another letter this month saying that I needed to appear in March. HELLO!!! My situation hasn’t changed at all! I am a work at home mom, I have three kids in which two stay home with me, I do not have a license nor do I have anyone that can take me!!! I wasn’t excused this time and it makes me sick to my stomach thinking about it. I called and spoke to a lady at the court and she explained to me that no transportation and no childcare isn’t a valid excuse. umm why not? As I explained to her everyone I know works during the day, I don’t have a license and if I could afford childcare I wouldn’t work at home!  Her words to me: “Well you’ll have to find transportation and find childcare”   well thank you miss lady from down under for the help!

I don’t know what they expect I mean we don’t have buses or cabs around here that can take me and no childcare means no childcare! I guess I’ll have to find a way there and take my kids how would they like that!! I can’t believe some people. I don’t have a problem doing jury duty but seriously give me a break. Call on me when my kids are in school or something!

All I can say is thank God tomorrow is Tuesday!

My little girl turned three today. I’m sad yet happy but feeling very old! We didn’t do too much because she’s still alittle under the weather but she had a really great day. We played all day, opened gifts, ate a little cake. We couldn’t get a big one because our refrigerator has died on us and my picky baby doesn’t like cake so we planned on getting an ice cream cake but ended up with buttercreme instead anyway it was small but it served it’s purpose.  

We had a really good day and finished it off with her favorite meal…. tacos!  We gave her all the stuff to make tacos in her own bowls and let her do it herself and she loved it! 

Here are a few pictures of her special day.

As I’ve talked about before, weekends are time to relax and live life stress free. For me reading a good book always makes me feel like I’ve taken a long vacation coming back home refreshed with new thoughts and ideas running through my mind.

Over the past few months I have been having issues with my relationship and with myself. Not that anything bad has been going on but it’s been a rocky road and sometimes you stop and wonder if it’s worth staying on the same road or is it better to take an easier path.

I’ve had all of this and more weighing heavy on my heart and I’m trying really hard to find truth and comfort within myself and my relationship that will bring my life to a point where I not only feel happy but I feel complete.

I’ve read many books and joined in on many conversations taking bits and pieces of it all with me. I know in a lot of ways I am changing my way of thinking and I’m learning a lot about myself but every day brings a new challenge and everyday I feel myself fighting a battle that I’m trying too hard on my own to win.

My fiance knows my thoughts on turning 30 and being where I want to be in life. He knows how I’m trying to build up knowledge in myself and us and while he doesn’t quite understand the point of reading books and trying to learn from that direction he does support me in doing this because he’s seen a difference in some areas with me and he knows that with or without him beside me I am going to be where and who I want to be in order to be happy and have a happy family.

So on Valentine’s Day he bought me the book Fireproof. This came as quite a surprise because I hadn’t mentioned it to him in a really long time and had actually forgotten about it! I wasn’t able to put the book down. I loved every minute of it and hated it when I got to the last page. I am addicted to reading but not many books touch me the way this book did. After reading it I felt like a different person, I felt like I was a better person and I wanted to be a better person. It gave me hope that was lost and strength that I forgot I had.

I believe anyone in a relationship or anyone period should read this book because I know everyone will take something from this book and add it to their life. I know for me it not only made me look at my relationship in a different light but it reminded me that life isn’t perfect, things get rough but taking the easy way out isn’t the best option. Even when I feel alone and that I can’t do it any more, that I tried everything to make my life better or to fix what I think is wrong… I’m not alone and I don’t have all the answers but with God by my side and in my heart everything will be ok, he has the answers and the helping hand that I need all I have to do is trust in him and everything will fall into place.

I can’t explain how much this book opened my eyes and touched my heart but I pray that everyone will get a chance to read it and that you take a piece of it with you forever.

I am cutting it very close to being Saturday but I’m just now finding time while everyone is asleep to do my Friday posting, which I’ll keep short and sweet. As a mother to three very silly kids I find that I am constantly laughing at one of them. My oldest is a jokester and my youngest is a real clown. I find myself laughing at my middle child not because she’s trying to be funny but because she is so prissy and such a diva it’s always funny to watch her get dramatic over everthing.

This week my youngest (who turns 3 on Sunday) says to me:

A: mama you sit right there and eat all your food like a big girl or daddy’s gonna pop you.

Me: I have to eat all my food or daddy will pop me huh?

A: Uh huh you better sit right there and eat OKAY…

Me: Sure but I tell you what if daddy pops me I think I’ll pop him back…

A: OH NO NO NO! You can’t pop daddy then you’ll be in big trouble! You just sit right there and eat your food.

Me: Okay sweetie but…

A: shhhh eat!

Of course her father is loving this conversation and I’m wondering where my daughter failed to realize that I wear the pants in this family!

Katherine Hepburn:
If you always do what interests you, then at least one person is pleased.

I read this quote just a minute ago and thought how great it would be to think that way. I spend so much time trying to make sure everyone else is happy that I rarely do what I want to do in order to be happy. Why is it so important for women to please everyone else yet making ourselves happy doesn’t matter one bit?

There are so many things I want to do right now but feel guilty even thinking about it yet things that my fiance wants is getting done without question. I want to get my hair cut, pay my fees to start college this semester, buy a ring, buy a few outfits, just be able to walk out of the house and go wherever I want to without having to worry about who gets mad or taking everyone with me. It’s not difficult things that I want nor is it things that would hurt anyone else yet I feel guilty for wanting them.

At what point am I supposed to only care that one person is happy and make that one person myself?

When the new year began I said I wouldn’t make a New Year’s resolution because I knew it wouldn’t last. Of course I ended up making a few goals for this year because what is a new year if you don’t try to start it off right and give yourself things to work towards and the reward of meeting those goals?  So of course as most women do I decided I want to lose weight and I mean really lose weight, not just the “oh yeah I want to lose ten pounds to fit into that bikini for my beach trip” no that’s not me! Wish it was but it’s not!

I need to lose 90 to 100 pounds to get to a healthy size and the size that I will be happy with. After I had my first child I gained over 100 pounds! That was eleven years ago and I still have most of the weight holding on. Of course I have added two more kids to the equation but it just really seems that I can’t get below 200 pounds for anything in this world. I haven’t pushed myself hard enough and that’s the only reason.

I make excuses all the time but reality is I have not pushed myself to exercise on a regular schedule nor have I made myself drink water and eat healthier. It’s my own fault and I’m the only one that can fix this problem.

So what makes this time wanting to lose weight different from the other times? Simple I want it… I truely want it.

As I get older and start getting more involved in my kids activities I feel myself getting embarrassed of myself and for my kids. I don’t want to be the fat mom!  When I turned 20 my first thought was “oh my God I’m almost 30!” I have always felt that 30 would be the end of my fun filled life. That’s when I’ll be old!   Of course now that I am 28 I realize that 30 is definitely not old! But still in my mind I promised myself and I have made myself believe that if I am not happy with myself at 30 then I have failed myself. I want to go into age 30 looking and feeling the way that I think makes me happy, I want to be headed into the right direction financially, spiritually, relationship wise, and most important is to be the mom I want to be and need to be. I know this seems silly to someone else but this is my reality. These are the thoughts that have been burned into my brain since I turned 20 and so far I’m failing myself… it stops now!

Every Wednesday (hopefully using it more days out of the week) I will be posting exercising tips, routines, goals, anything that is going to help me get myself physically to my happy point.